Up to 09/05
After some mixed occupations with varying levels of success – success being either way such a subjective measure – i spent many of the following years back here beneath the familiar mono-season in a world of grey paint, three setting neon-lighting (on-dusky- interrogation) and purspects dividers.
A low rumbling hum beat the backdrop for each day, every present but never noticed until 17:30, when at the of each day the noise that wasn’t was switched off and you noticed how pronounced it at must have been.
By the end of year one my first major accomplishment was realised, a monument to the inspirational nature of the role. I called him Joe, a robotic statue formed from disposable plastic cups around a skeleton of surreptitiously rescued office stationary.
By the end of the second year i had my second major accomplishment, the realisation that would ultimately mean no third year accomplishment would come to pass. Despite no physical or mental aptitude my calling was clear. I set to taking regular trips to M&S where i would purchase some lean cut loin chops and set to pounding them flat with my hands, this formed the first stage of my preparation for the boxing career to be.
I left my job, painful times, moved to Philadelphia, because as anyone who knows anything about boxing could tell you, this is the place to be if you need to do some serious running up of steps. And as those who know would surely further testify, nothing guarantees success more than some serious stair running and carnivorous produce pounding.
Taking this solid foundation and backing it with one of the great tenants of civilised society, “though shalt not strike a man with glasses”, i felt assured of my success and its subsequent fortune.
Besides I wasn’t about to surrender my frames, for their semi-sporting grievous intent (or boxing) shall not harm me – my glasses were were my right. Also they were to be like a shield of steal – and with that in mind it would clearly be folly to go without.
Audiences for these low action events were in short supply. Also it would be true to say the world is at times quite devoid of the honor i’d built my tower of dreams on.
A harsh lesson and one painfully realised with one hefty blow, delivered by a larger somewhat aggrieved gent turning up with his own finest Spec-Savers offering.
I know for a fact some of those guys were wearing nonprescription reading glasses and under false pretenses.
My retirement came about rather swiftly. It was to be another sport to which i would be called.