Two swiss guards at the vatican

The smell of the hospital – detergent bleach and sanitiser, the overly warm and stagnant air, not a fan. And that’s not to mention the assorted failing conditions of the inhabitants. It selfishly doesn’t suit me to be confronted with such things.

An inaccurate subject for an entry – something to do with Have I Got New For You, commentary at the delayed publishing time

The attendants seem to think my grandfather like their residents and repeat things at him slowly with volume, he doesn’t seem to take offense. Saying that’s it fine for him to go sit about in this place, he’d just have to take to shaking a bit and the reasoners would readily mistake him for one of them.

The question often asked is what is keeping my grandmother alive, the dementia completed its victory in the last couple of years after about a decade. Between that and whatever cocktail of meds she’s on for the Parkinson, dementia assortment of conditions, there not really any sign of what sort of amounts to a person. Though occasionally out of the nothing she will offer a response, mostly just a yes, to something she might just have overheard. It need not make sense but it does beg the wonder who or how remains trapped in there.

In the canteen some chap is playing a version of a squeeze organ, I think it must be a simplified type for every time he restarts it’s only to unleash a rather familiar selection of notes in an equally familiar sequence and tempo. Something about hilly countries and their musical proclivities.

Yesterday ended up watching Berlin bank holiday festivities, TV offering – not wholly by choice – can only conclude 99 red balloons in its original form is unquestionably the stand out German language contribution to ‘contemporary’ music, as well as the only one to be set to the none conferment singular background beat & they’ve turned up in their masses … A great economy and manufacturing industries .. Guess it had to be off set by something, for gods sake take their 80s electrical organs / any potentially remotely ‘music’ emitting instruments away …

I made the customary aubergine bake before leaving, slowly it’s becoming close to a traditional part of such break. More chill escaped the pot than was intended, as I sought to compensate for the jumbo tomato tin. Not a problem for me but I have memories of my grandfather mentioning previous versions were hot and how he liked it hot. They were not so very hot but this is a relative matter of taste and the fact it had been noted was more suggestive that it was sub optimally hot and was in fact not liking it quite so much as moderately struggling with it.
Too late, it did have a spiced taste to it, perhaps the cheese on melting might moderate it, who knew what the right amount of hot was.

Returning back to the oven mid-cooking, when attention was not being paid, the fridge was light on milk it transpired, so I added some single cream to the top and pocked at it, so that the white puddles submerged.

Further covert amends would not be possible, we’d been into town for a replacement DVD player so lunch was already later than usual and pooh bears stomach had not seen this go unnoticed. The oven spent the last 29 minutes of its cut short cooking time being stared out, while I was left to simply how for the best.

The traditional behaviours of men folk are bizarre, it’s a conclusion I find equally but differently true for other social segments. My grandfather describes times his brother, giving him a lift decided that a tram stop somewhere close to the route home would quite suffice. It’s practically true but where was the need, traffic is a minimal issue, the other persons in your car, it just seems all together unnecessary. Yet it’s not an unusual behaviour, I’ve never noticed it so much among my friends but only one generation back and it’s prevalent enough. Social autism on a bizarrely and peculiar scale. I have my own share of this I’m sure enough but can’t quite fathom what all this is about. While so many others are infinity interesting in offering contributions but take little in the way of direction or information from inbound information or even retorts. Sometimes it’s like they could do just as well engaging with a wall in an echoey environment. This last bit of the behaviour is more than alive and kicking, I think it’s catching. As I observe myself I find like quicksand I’m being drawn with time into such ways, it’s not ideal, so much more can be gleaned from listening than from offering. Something to watch. Something to attempt to work on, poor habits have a slide like quantity.

Having been watching house during quieter spots devoid of the no longer working football manage I have started to ponder on some similarities. I’ve had to consider what a team that I would assemble might look like, interesting mix of intellect, deceit and manipulation may be beyond my means but I seem to have very much gone for House inspired team shape.

One or two person to be practical and attached to realities of the day, one to push at the more interesting and challenge and at least on of these to also be accustomed and able to mitigate for my apparently difficult to follow communication and people engagement styles. A challenger, a pragmatist and humaniser, but when all said and done the statement I unwittingly offered on this covers it, people to argue with me. People whose contribution will optimise my own input, I wonder if such a self orientated strategy is quite right, I would in that scenario be a fixed variable but nothing is ever quite so one dimensional.

There is one person at work who we ought to try to retain in my view but I can’t come up with a way, their role will no longer be and that’s a pretty hard fact, there are others but the team will be small. Attitude, willing and approach are so key it would be a shame to loose someone who has these. Not seeing an option, for now I send emails congratulating the team on the unexpected turn around and buying post holiday my chocolates, any such thanks or well doing is infinitely premature but should this be kept up, then there won’t be people to offer such thoughts to come a more rational time frame. I am being to nice on things, to quick to pat backs and too peaceable about shortcomings, but objectively the time for such adjustments has gone, why not try to be pleasant, i can honestly say I sad see little to be served by by being otherwise, I may still fail.

It’s time to head home. They are boarding the plane and the inexplicable and inexplicably irritating sight of people queuing and not always politely to be allowed to join the queue on the finger dock to board a plane upon which their departure time and seat are long since predetermined. What is wrong with all these people, I’ve stood in that finger dock queue inadvertently many times, it’s just not that amazing.

If I had to sit on a baggage rack without a reserved seat the short duration of such flight would make this perfectly acceptable and little more of an endurance than the delights of train commuting on s poor day, but that just not going to happen. They irritate these people with their behaviour founded on no discernible rational, they shouldn’t, they are quite entitled but they do, they really really do.

House Season 7 Team


May and looking back at April – work

The first of may 2015
The weather is properly Mingin in Switzerland a description my phone disagrees with. It a bank holiday here and nothing much is about to happen at all, the TV has been switched from orchestral musical offering to a Phil Collins / genesis offering from yester/yesteryear if the wall of organs and superabundance of hair is anything to go by.

The updates have been coming out of London, performance numbers for the month of April, now that it is done.
At this moment I’m not sure what to make of them, 5% above target and a big day yesterday, on a Thursday, why? It seems like an improbable sprint to the line where a staggering across personal best close to the target was all that we had reason to expect.

Never been much for the daily trading numbers, still not really, they can drive poor short termist thinking that tempt poor quality thinking. Two good month and an upward trajectory is needed though, to keep belief and push on, doubt would not be helpful right now.  Like the manager of a football team on the brink of relegation whose team start winning games after only a few tweaks, wondering on how phantom such turn around are, do mix with disbelief to dampen celebrations.

Plus in the real world more important matters draw close – more destruction of the instruments of civilisation with the conservatives vs the better side of people… The devil vs the angel on the shoulder … As a extreme … A week away

I was looking forward to this mini break and catching up on sleep, so far that’s worked out rather, with little of the morning being encountered by conscious thoughts. It may be a bit of a waste of valuable holiday but it’s not  utterly without its merit.

We’re on the 10th floor, a duck chose a close proximity fly past, from the distance I could see it coming then zip past the large window, it was really traveling at quite the surprising pace.

Ecommerce – the way

Ecommerce is not in many ways a thing – it’s certainly not a profession, not like accountants, doctors or scientist. It’s frequented by a myriad of strays from assorted backgrounds, pulled close by its economic gravity.
The golden chicken that can be invested in as an all but certain means that isn’t, to a more profitable future.. placed into the hands of a working nation of chancers, buffoons and self congratulatory discoverers of notions long since realised but now offered up in a shiny new form.

The latter of these seeming to be the better of this accidental potentially lost selection.

The technical ones have a definable skillset probably even credentials – they are the closest thing to the legitimately qualified though far less able than many mechanics they are far better remunerated.
They did not mean to take this path they merely got tired of operating the milkshake dispensers, fancied a change .. Some are actually very good and this is a most ill founded slight upon their person.

Then you have the worst of them – the marketeers … Who because, presumably, a site consists largely of words and pictures, they feel a most ill advised justification in flocking across to an industry in which they are about as well suited as a tuna fish, set to the task of uncovering the next great efficiencies in arable farming.

This is not to say there are no good people in ecommerce, or to profess some grace dislike this would not be true.
It is the home to many, not necessarily well suited or advised to be there, just sort of bumbling through… Not the view you would take if you were to observe the energetic term utterings of the enthusiastic linkedin sermonises, with their regular news and updates, perhaps 2 or 3 significant changes occur in a fast moving 5 year stint .. and yet the ticker of ecom news never runs cold

I like to hope that this is not the level of uncertain blind mans buff self assurance that purveys all aspects of human life – medicine, rocket construction and general engineering – carlsburg – if ecom teams built shard like skyscrapers, they’d probably be the most hazardous ‘giant metallic dandelion blown in the wind’ skyscrapers in the world..

I like to hope this as I walk to work in the morning and watch the men in hard hats as vast building work objects swing from cranes and new structures are erected, as I sit on the train chuntering along, during those more operational moments .. Such things are not in question when encountering the almost unnatural science that is the uniformity of the PRET sandwich, though I’m tempted go believe the chicken classic of yesteryear came perhaps with greater amounts of Parmesan flourished upon it.. This may be incorrect .. There are so many times to hope and go be grateful for a certain level and standard to things

Monday is over like the . .. Other days invariably are also .. Black bird has (mumbling bit) like the first bird …

The sleepiness with which the day commenced was not soon dispersed, around 1ish had myself a twin teabag effort and that provided a modicum of bounce for a couple of hours, it did not taste good.

Offering via email from a team member
Offering via email from a team member

I suggested meeting up with a friend after work sometime this week and was suprised that today numbered among the two days they came back to suggest.. Today – a day of fogged up mental vacancy and bewilderment in which, for most of it I was all over the place. It was a bit of a relief when, having summoned sufficient thought to finally key in a response they then opted for the other of these days .. I would be quite the company – ever the erudite wordsmith and social raconteur this may well have been my finest hour.

It had its upside unperturbed or bothered by any of the events which unfolded, not that it was a day littered by bothersome occurrences.. The benefits of sleepwalking are maybe not circulated well enough.

The board meeting wasn’t – they had it while we were all out of the office last week & no one opted to convey that change of plan. On the plus side I know I did everything I could with the information available to me, so there is that & soon I will be off this train and able to take up a well practiced reasting stance upon the settee. That or I will wake up in Cambridge – the heater by my left leg is almost effective pumper of hot air and I will either sweat myself lighter or be coaxed into a premature nap.. Still I do like cambridge and it’s been a time since I made an inadvertent improtue visit there… The glory days of parliamentary bars and the beverages there in – the commuters hazard if you don’t live at the termination point.

Work – Monday’s, the metro and the lost weakend

I spent all weekend working on targets and interesting things like that, to plan the year that almost certainly won’t be.. It would not be unreasonable to question why then?

Today is to be quite a large and defining meeting day for the owning board of my employers and the jungle drums suggest that the message that they may not be about to turn certain aspects around is one finding a receptive audience now.  Those parts which have produced with sterling predictability annual results that’s bore scant resemblance to any target or anything remotely within the sphere of progress..

Yet now I work on a plan for this thing – surrendered my weekend to it, didn’t even get around to watching episode 1 of the last season of the mentalist – a show certainly long past its best but none the less arguably a more productive use of time.  There are however jobs to consider and I wanted to understand for myself to what extent thugs might be possible to be improved… The suppliers were meant to some back with their targets and plans.. Some sort of did but once again the ppc agency dos not – we took them on late last year, fwd3d and it’s hard to say whether they’ve been able to do a single thing right or even well.  They are – words escape me – they’re nice guys, seem to work hard enough but I really don’t have the words.  I didn’t bring them in, normally it would be easy to castigate that action but I did back their appointment in a precious job and now I’m left to wonder on how magically their sales people weave their golden shimmering web.

So that was my weekend there – first realising how useless they had been, then that they had no clue how to remedy it then attempting to do their work for them … They need to go … Though this may not be the time with everything that’s going on, I need to sit on my firing finger for now … But I don’t want to, oh no I didn’t have a weekend and I really want to ..

When finally I stopped working on the quarterly targets and plans to support them they were not done but it was quite late and what was done was better of being sent.  The invention of lying was back on itv2 – it’s on their a lot – one of their favorite evening movies that’s on more often than die hard used to be back in the late 90s early 00s.

i always start watching it as well – Not one for watching DVDs more than once some films when on the TV seem to be excluded from this – the invention of lying is such a film.  It was though already 1am and aside from wanting an hour of weekend to myself the thought of tomorrow morning absent sleep dogged me.

Why in films and on the TV do people read to people and why when they do that do they muster all of a couple of lines, not even close to a whole paragraph before calmly and slowly closing the book in a all together rather final way.. also they visit people, share one not particularly pressing thought and within minutes leaves again .. whenever i was participating in a visit it rarely passed off so swiftly and involved a considerable higher level of sitting, mental wanderings and time effecting hour treacle particles accosting all the ways of the world?

Indeed I have woken sleepy and in an unforgiving disposition that makes all but the practical voice want to walk up to Camden right now and dispatch that agency for a long walk into the desert, the level of fecklessness than can be bought for these generous agency fees is most generous. Though I’m hard pressed to come up with a none natural monopoly service provider or even oligopoly quite as incapable of doing what they, theoretically at least, exist to do, as this lot.. At least the development agency are fighting code first penned by those two chimps looking to pass the time on the good ship Noah.

Video most handily after the fact removed – no notion as to what this was meant to be …

.. non-contextually relevant stand out filler ..


Intermission – please hold nothing to see here

I should be writing up my  ski day 2 notes I guess but instead – dudley or there abouts

The drive up being appreciatively uneventful and the office full of meaningful conversational offerings around such things as penguin appreciation / awareness day – one of the two .. Time does not allow for ski holiday note write ups, as in need as the world so is for poorly focused, tangible information light, Austrian skiing notes … Instead an evening in Dudley before a day of meetings or rather meeting – tomorrow… Meanwhile at the bates motel – copthorne hotel Liverpool managed not to shame themselves in the league cup … Mighty might Liverpool – well once – against Chelsea that old foe of champions league game – and a thoroughly entertaining game, ending 1-1 with a second leg at Stamford bridge making a Liverpool favouring outcome somewhat unlikely.

Still the definition of success have required a degree of movement in and around the rogers era & so for now not shaming ourselves against the opposition rather than against history is that level – it was an enthralling game for both teams endeavor.

Tomorrow I am meant to reach some agreement to achieve what appears to onlookers, such as myself to be the nye on impossible… The agreement is with our ecommerce supplier on how to to resurrect something from the ruinness wreck forged from years of neglect & haste..

Some things simply don’t want to – they are the pigs that want to be eaten and won’t be brought to any other terms – & if nothing else is true then it is a pig..

the day had little remarkable to it aside from it unfulfilled threat of snow and a football game- time absorbing enough to prevent further notes being offered up

Boxing Day 2014 – Omission Bias – & 2015 questions

Boxing Day – the day with no plans and coming as the third in a chain of days regularly beset by limited occurrences.

Could just lye in the floor and stare at the ceiling – as tempting as that’s been known to be it has a way of eliciting a confused and uncertain response from those with whom one is cooped up. Vacant spaces ..

Amazing how swiftly hours pass at work – evidence of how readily the brain can be fooled, for ostensibly there is much of the vacant space to be found there, only the puzzles or problems of the day such you in.. Like pets enjoy such moments as hoovering or other entertaing activities – movement it seems beats seditery even if the movement is a wheel firmly fixed to some bars & going nowhere other than round.  Offering puzzles – Deceiving in the moment – my work – shielded by at least two layers from meaning.

Layer 1 – an inherent ability to take any energy poured in and channel it out into a familiar unaltering outcome .. The more the struggle the more things stay the same.. not only in the big national organisations do system defend themselves manfully recruiting loyalists to their cause.  Omission bias & the deep routes of local norms

Layer 2 – we’re selling a highly commoditised product.  We don’t make it, we don’t offer it delivered by highly trained postal pelican or complete with added ‘advanced James Bond 1980s evil villain base escape aids.’  Nope we sell stuff for about the same price that any number of others do, in a way which one would be hard pressed to describe as unique, though those more at home in such waters may have stayed more effective means to stay afloat.

Its a game – no more, someone wins someone looses until an oligopoly or minimum viable number of players are established & barriers to entry firmed up.. Its hard to say it matters in any way other as a test of the worthy .. Unlike other tests of the worthy however the outcome to the wider world is beyond negligible, no disease  overcome, no product extended to the masses …

This cyclical test is of course not like a football match – nothing like it – suggestions to the contrary clearly outlanish notions of the uncomprehending.  Anyone that argues that any of the champions league finals are in some way an equivalent retreading of 2005 & Istanbul – nope – they are mistaken, a fool who fails to understand, to appreciate exactly what happened on that the greatest of all nights.  This on the hand is the height of meaningful moments.. A things without equivalence.

While work in the wheel, we leave the board and someone else will immediate grow into the space, indivuduals and their employers.  Customers will still get the product they really have no practical need for, no highly trained pelicans will have to go perform on south bank to make a living and the world will notice not a jot… The stakeholders will notice, suspect they’ve been noticing for some time – I’ve been here only months & noticed … Hence my major reticence on the intended property search – just as well.. Mortgages banks and their predilection for preferring regular and reliable repayment.

So now in the quiet of the empty days – ponderances occur upon what next – some may cry pessimism but to my mind evidence suggests investors don’t tend to love year on year on year losses without sign of reprieve .. People seem to prefer to keep hold of their funds  .

It is a little defeatist but some towels may better suited or at least in need of being thrown in – adapt or die – that is sort of what the market is meantto deliver.. It doesn’t but nor does is molicodle failure..

Work environments seem to demand ever more a mindless cosmetic optimism and this has been lost on me. It seems a growing trend, ever more prevalent, to expect people to say certain things, the optimism is good & pessimism good. Why? Sutely fact and unfettered actually is what leads to good decisions.. A previous colleague, german, simply stated how thing were and why  .. No flowering it up no political manoeuvring – after an initial surprise it was quite the most refreshing thing and by concentrating on actually doing stuff she was immediately more effective than all others.

Optimism – pesamism – accepted scripts of what’s go be said. Surely all are equally poor, two sides of same distortion to solid decision making.  Both suggest and require distortion of facts, ignoring what is self evident and over egging that which suits a preperscribed hypothesis. Surrendering balanced reflection in favour of emotive propensity from within. So let’s talk about opportunities & improvements, the achievements & the progress while the boats lists and breaches ..tipping in a manner that would leave any passenger with a renewed appreciation for dry land

I may cautious and caution tends to was pesamism but that’s nothing to be proud of – it’s a propensity in need of mitigation, if one is to overcome it, to not keep trying to prove the inherent hypothesis previlant in the thoughts but to follow a more balanced considered approach.

Why all this chuntering – well with a change looking like it’s about to foist itself onto life decision may be coming in need of the making.  The question begged – what next?  It’s not really about work at all – as with all such offerings it’s the internal meandering on the self or at least of the self .. Centralised around the self – diaries blogs … I’m guessing so.. People and there thoughts on themselves, what could be more roundly fascinating to all ..

Those who do not learn from the past are destined to repeat or doing the same thing / making the same decisions and expecting different outcomes – there are some famous quotes about that sort of thing .. Mr Einstein – pretty decent source

Heading home (sort of) for Christmas 2

There is no PRET  in T2, I wondered around to be sure remembering that there was one, there isn’t.  Given the early stages of its rebirth and more than cosmetic overhaul there never was.. Where there might have been one there is an EAT – I do not care for EAT..  No particular reason other than it’s prices are like those of a pret, it occupies potential pret spaces .. Places such as this one in T2 and ain’t no PRET & while is not the same nor is it different..

Big queues and for mine the front is fast giving up and leaving, the serving person having abandoned their cashier post to take up residence at the coffee making station and not come back.

I observe making a b- line for the back where there appear to be some unadvertised self checkouts .. And opt to follow.. The thing is people have clearly been here before been here before giving up and leaving with each of the machines displaying the unpaid for items of previous attempted transactions …. There is no way to clear it down – no back, no delete, no action from the cancel button on the card machine nothing .. I can buy £7.58 of whatever’s on here or leave.. Food less and hungry .. That’s the choice

The other chap, the one who heading here pointed it out, if he pays for his .. Then his self checkout, the third and final choice, will be cleared down, so I burn some time with fruitless machine ferreting waiting for him go leave while hoping it all works for him in a way that seems scarcely probable.

it works – he leaves and bequeath me the one working checkout and with it I manage to secure for myself this sandwich .. It is mine & paid for to – legally & possession wise mine.

I’m not sure whose more deserving of being clobbered meticulously with this slightly under baked baguette until all flight full fillings flew free .. The developer who built it or their boss who allowed it to escape into the wild.  I’m pretty certain I’ve encountered very similar devices in other stores, frustrating machines no doubt but ones that have had a few generations to teach us about their inheranrtly irksome bagging area ways .. So well established are these as to make guest appearances in any number of comedians comedy skits … No originality was called for here, so to find new ways to be frustratingly shit that took some witless ness.  I think the boss, that is where the baguette should be wielded.

The plane is late arriving but I’m kept to busy on my phone – writing my response to the unspoken conversation that was intended for today – how do we save money next year.. I’ve given my answer verbally in passing but now I’ve worked out the detail – it’s an email that, despite the departure gate and flight time hours that went into, has as yet remained unsent .. Drafts …

Skiing in 2015

After a year of bowing that I was to abstain from the group ski holidays in 2015, a line diligently and resolutely maintained … I succumbed at the last.

The organiser & chief of such trips, a civil service lawyer-persistent, duplicitous, devious, smart and in no small way a bit of an unusual character had turned me round..

Welcome the affirmation that that happens – question if it was sound judgement…

Not least, I’m told (and I myself suspect) it’s a dangerous president to be allowing to be set. This is after all the same chap I have observed observing his acquaintances as they squabble over a scenario entirely ( & one can only suspect quite deliberately) of his making…

Still there’s something about this one that’s hard not to respect .. Very bright .. To trust would be foolhardy but .. Well he’s more like a bored mind seeking entertainment (and one must not allow oneself to become a subject) .. The intent seems little more than that.. I think in this areana & probably others, he holds no small advantage over me – I may be inclined to study but lack the will or means for practical experimentations .. It’s not a forum for me to stand toe to toe in … While I am a naturalist studying behaviours in their habitat – he is a scientist setting environments to elicit behaviours .. But I like him, his bored mind and thoughtful intellect along with, at times, something amusingly and kindly human, they intrigue me.. It’s interesting

Anyway he got me, this man with many names (depending on how and when you came to know him) .. After all the cost was low and my primary objection had been there were better way to spend the money when the holidays in recent years had not been great. What do you do when a lawyer takes away the central pillar of your argument ..

But now work is wearisome as I may have mentioned, the holiday is actually not expensive and judging by the losses my employer sustained this year, work at any rate may soon be coming to a premature end.. When compared to sitting at home, commuting to work and waiting for an axe to fall a trip to Austria away from all this sounds pretty good.. Why not?

Staying at home and working has one thing and little more to recommend it – fund raising … Though I mean no ill to staying at home in that ..
To think I used to really like working – I was told it was odd at the time – guess that was right ..

Apparently though there is no snow – switzerland used to be white in the low lying farm villages where I first failed to ski .. Vast thick cold snow – no more – it’s not so long ago it really isn’t … Now one must seek it out and hunt it high