Finally having had my last round of meetings and with whatever information I was going to be able to get, gotten I was able to offer my conclusion.
The criteria had been around for ages, they were clear all that I needed to do with see if anything had altered and I found little had.
There is only fear and possibly pragmatism to keep me rather than go for the unknown. There is much to be said for pragmatism, if I were someone else I might well be pointing me at it.
This will be the second time I have had a job floated before me only to turn away, I told myself last time I would play the long game.
I haven’t. My employer has 2 years in it before they look to sell up, I could have stayed for those two years, I probably would have if only they had been able to offer a reason. Instead the only reason & it’s a fair one, was because the alternative is loosing your job like it was last time.
I can see I may regret this – a little anxiety simmers but on the flip side this evening is different, for the first time in ages I don’t feel tired or weighted. For now it’s a relief. I know yet underestimate the pressure of indecision and uncertainty as well as the pressure of unemployment to take that which comes along.