May.. Another stag in Amsterdam and some other unhelpful chuntering

May and it will not be long until Oscar marries, it’s come round quick which shouldn’t be a surprise and always is. Today it’s the commencement of his stag weekend, a bank holiday elongated stag weekend in Amsterdam. It’s very tedious and a bit socially unacceptable of me but in not looking forward to it. It could so very likely become just a tad to untoward for my slowing and never were too vigorous tastes.

When I first met Oscar he was a lairy sort under the influence, settling down in recent times but some of his old acquaintances (whom mostly I do not personally know) have a reputation for not having relinquished such inclinations at the door.

Trepidation. Fuelled on my side by some amount of ropiness which has manifested itself as Fatigue, confusion, a most unvarnished guard and some digestive system discomfort. The merest decline in energy levels and the speed of mental recoil is pronounced, requiring not the challenge of weekends such as this.

On the flip side- going abroad, somewhere I’ve not visited before, I was not burdened with a wide variety of other plans… The question how socially acceptable is it to go away but only participate in the more sober and pedestrian activities?
Other friends have gotten married but their stag things were not nights/weekends in the way this is, the rules are unclear.

First though to work and another meeting to discuss the future. Having. Discussed it at some length with my boss at the beginning of the week it’s now my bosses boss… I don’t see myself staying really, pragmatically I probably should and go with it regardless but I don’t really believe in their project, lofty ambitions beyond the spheres of probable reality and moderate to slender resourcing, the reality gap is rather large.

My boss is leaving and my natural inclination is to follow, not in the general sense but in the specific sense of this role. Better to be one of the many in a pleasant land than a price of a sprawling baron desert.

Still we will see. My cv has been changeable (job wise) and while my boss was in place I’d not looked at other roles. I have now started to (most moderately) but now or rather when I get back from Amsterdam this will have to be taken more seriously. It’s defiantly time for something newer, my understanding of digital is quite well settled in after all those inadvertent years working in it, repeating, comfortable. The uncomfortable notion of the salary reducers looms as fresher areas are sought out, the question that casts the biggest shadow though- what?

Political jobs would be ideal but I’m labour and the Labour Party is a clique, a club and inward looking network or rather two invested looking networks – the central party and the local parties – both quite different in many ways but both highly old fashioned, out dated and out of touch, there is something of the old club about them where you pass through the rooms depending upon family, acquaintances, longevity and toil. The first two are more for the central party and the latter for the local. Toil and longevity are certainly more rational and worthy reasons given that no party can function without its loyal activists working to it’s cause.
It’s so dammed interminably tedious though, the meetings they go on and on and on and on some more – as near as my wilted concentration levels can tell mostly about remarkably little.

There is no objectivity or professionalism or efficiency about any of it, maybe that’s how it’s meant to be but to add to the list of 22nd of May grumbles I really am not in agreement with it. Part of me has long thought a new pan European affiliated party built on activism and more modern social tools was needed. The Labour Party resists change so diligently and nothing so good at this really comes to benefit from it, the world moves on and leaves it behind.

If I worked for them I would not stop in pursuing change, the energy I had for work would not be a surface exercise fuelled by interest in the puzzle but a routed and meaningful interest in the outcome. That said the party is probably more inclined to irrelevance than to change, aside from perhaps espousing some more conservative styled policies to appease the inherently right leaning southern England populous. Change the figure head and the policies but not the operational infrastructure or 1950s apparatus.

What this really needs is a distant railing against on an obscure web page with all the prethought of a Friday morning stop off commute to Heathrow.

Leathel weapon too old
Always probably was

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